Thomas Hunt

After this I promise not to write anymore about my time in England. As far as being back at Trinity Western in concerned, I am loving it. And I intend to elaborate on that another time, but for now, please indulge me these final thoughts on Oxford.

About seven weeks have come and gone since I arrived back in Canada. It’s novel to think that mere weeks ago I was hopping from Oxford to Venice, Venice to Florence and then finishing in Rome. Novel in that now that I am back at TWU it is easy to forget that I ever left it.

It’s true that I talk of my travels, I have many pictures to show and have brought some new habits back, but to remember it, to savour with my mind what I once did with my senses, that is hard. On my way back from England I read Earnest Hemingway’s memoirs of his time in Paris after the First World War. He said of the city, that it was for anyone who had lived there, “a movable feast.” Every day since my departure I have picnicked on the memory of my term in Oxford. It has become for me what Paris was for Hemingway. Its cobbled streets, dreaming spires, dusty books and charming pubs have all endeared themselves to me; they shall forever go with me in the locker of my mind.

The city’s footing in my memory is such that at any time I can snack upon it, glean some succour or fondly admire some quality, but its footing is also such that these meals are always fleeting, forever transitory. It’s a feast that can only tantalize, never satisfy. To gorge on the feast of memory is to waste away. I may claim each moment as my own when it is present, but I may not do so with what is past; I cannot marshal memories like Shakespeare could words or Napoleon could men. Memories are much akin to shadows, though they may follow us, they are not us.

Any lingering felicity to be had, as garnered through memory, is gratuitous; I cannot claim it by right. Twenty years of my life have come and gone, and how odd a thing it is to be separated from years of your self; how natural it is too. An allegorical example would be the experience I had last weekend when a friend took me up in his helicopter. He flew us to the lakes and mountains north of Chilliwack, revealing a world that was simultaneously home and hostile. I saw the tops of mountains as birds do, but I am no bird. I hovered over peaks and precipices as clouds do in the sky, but I am no cloud. All the time I felt the visitor, that I was allowed to see but not to stay. So too with memory: by it I see what was once present now as past, in such a fashion as was incapable before, but one must avoid becoming reclusive. I shall keep me helicopter memories for a long time, hopefully gain profitable moral lessons from it, but I could not live suspended in the sky anymore than I can live in the caverns of my mind – in memory.

Pax

Tom

If you happen to read this blog regularly enough to notice how long it has been since I last wrote then I do apologize for the tardiness of this post. But that’s undoubtedly not the case for anyone, and so, for everyone either welcome back or welcome to my blog.

In the last entry I wrote of my adventures and decisions. I was confronted with the choice of whether to stay in Oxford for a second term or to return home to Canada. Without going into an auto-biography, which the first draft of this seemed to contain, a quick preface to my personal identity should be provided. I have always been divided in my allegiance and curious as to my identity. When I came to England in September, I was in a way coming ‘home’, as I had spent by then a few months more in England than I had in Canada (I moved in august of 1999). It was my hope that in coming here I would be able to revive old things, which seem now, for the most part, long gone. Rather than finding a home here I have found a house, a very familiar one, but not my own. Please don’t construe this as a loss for me, on the whole I am quite glad and feel in a way liberated. Before coming here I often remarked (that in a general sense) I had two houses and no home. What I have discovered is that Canada has become, for the first time by my own choosing, my place of belonging.  This doesn’t mean that I am not enjoying myself, I am thoroughly, and Oxford has in no way disappointed, and I shall miss much of it immensely, but once you find a home it is always sweeter to return to it than it is to leave it.

I owe TWU much thanks in helping me to find my home and to make it so sweet a place to return to. Oxford is the place of my dreams, everything about this place is a dream: its century old spires, its whispering walls and stacked libraries; it a place of dreams, it is in my dreams, but it is not in my heart. In a world of dreams everything is appealing because it’s all your own – no one else’s – there is nothing to upset the dream: this is what Oxford was before I came and shall no doubt return too once I leave. TWU is the place of my heart because it is isn't a dream: there i find my pleasure and my pain, where I love and am loved. Oxford has furnished me well, it has taught me much, but it has not loved me the way I have loved it. At Trinity Western I have grown up but I have not grown alone. In no way do I look down upon my time at Oxford, but I now look even more highly upon Trinity Western. Oxford has improved my ability to answer timely questions, but it neglects to encourage alongside them the timeless ones, which are always timely to consider. TWU concerns itself with both types of questions, in the former it has progressed laudably and in the latter it has achieved something even more commendable. To me these are not mere words, if they were, then I wouldn’t have chosen to decline the offer of a second term at Oxford: a university that needs no introduction nor elaboration in regards to its appeal. The more I learn at Oxford the more I long for TWU; not because Oxford isn’t excellent at teaching about life, but because TWU excels at teaching about living.

I had hoped to tell you about some of thing I have been doing here, and afraid of exhausting your good will and readership I won’t delay in ending for too much longer. Here are a few recent highlights I will hopefully be able to elaborate on further in a later post.

1)    Incredible weekend trip to Wales with my friends. I basically bussed all the way to Wales, climbed their highest mountain in wind, rain, snow and the bitter cold, and then bussed back through the night to Oxford so that I could spend Sunday working on my paper.

2)    Elegant dining at two Oxford College Halls. Imagine the banquets in Harry Potter, take out the cool magical bits but keep the room and the amazing food.

3)    St. Alldate’s Ball. This was a black-tie ball that I went to, which had some brilliant food, fun people and great dancing – a night to remember for a long time.

4)    American Thanksgiving. I live with 40 Americans and only one other Canadian, so it was great to be immersed in something so genuine. I played back yard football (tackle) in the park, and all of us are so stiff today that we can barely walk.

Well, that’s all for now. If you made it through the whole past thanks for reading, and if not, thanks for giving it a go.

Pax

Tom

Since my last posting, I have found much more satisfaction and enjoyment here than I was previously experiencing. It takes some time to become familiar with a place, and I have always found that for a place to feel like a home it has to first feel familiar. That’s not to say that I have run out of things to explore and discover. Quite the contrary in fact, I am discovering just as much now as I did when I began a month ago. Case in point: at 4 am just last week, when I was finishing up my two papers due at 9 am, I discovered how everyone else was still asleep, how dark it still was, and how much I still had left to do! My discoveries have not all been purely academic though.  With what free time I do have, I am spending it on jazz clubs, pubs, evensong services, autumn walks, art galleries, British television, cooking and exploring England. Just the other day, in fact, after I finished those essays, I awoke at 3pm and went for a beautiful walk around the parks of Oxford, and visited Oriel, Corpus Christi and Merton Colleges. I also went to Christ Church Picture Gallery and perused their renaissance pieces. Later that evening I enjoyed some fine dining (McDonald’s) and then went on to a Classical concert. Later I went in for a seasonal ale at my favourite pub called Chequers, which has wonderful red leather chairs, the kind which you would see by an old fireplace in a Victorian library. And to top it all off, I finished the night by making oreo milkshakes with friends and watching episodes of Arrested Development. All that in one day! Granted though, most of my days aren’t as leisurely as that. Most of my time is taken up with working away in some corner of the library, but that’s okay because it’s what I came here for.

Earlier in the week I was off in Dublin visiting an old friend from High School which was a real treat. Unfortunately though, the one full day I had of sight seeing was shortened somewhat, as I accidently slept in until 3:30pm! That’s alright though, Fortuna compensated me by putting a Lithuanian model next to me on the plane ride home. I can’t remember her name or how it was pronounced, but she was very beautiful and gave me a lot of candy! We chatted the whole way and she told me all about the life of an international model, and I told her all about Oxford. She suggested I consider part time modeling, and I demurred by pointing out the size of my giant nose. She seems to believe there is a market for big nosed models, so maybe if Oxford and TWU don’t work out I will be a model…

This afternoon I was out and about for a pleasant and tranquil stroll along Addison’s Walk, which is a path bordering a deer park, enclosed by giant oak trees. This walk was a favourite of Tolkien and C.S. Lewis and a favourite of my father’s and me also. Tonight is jazz night which is my favourite night, and tomorrow I and some mates are going to see a play called ‘History Boys’. It’s all exciting and it’s all memorable…and furthermore it’s (relatively) inexpensive for students!

By tomorrow however, I do need to be working hard again and also making some big decisions. I get assigned my first tutorial essay question tomorrow (I have been a 5 day mid-term break) and so life will be back to the library. And tomorrow is the day by which I have to decide whether to stay in Oxford for the spring term or to come back to TWU. I haven’t yet come to a definitive conclusion, though I have thought and prayed about it a lot. I won’t take up any more space here concerning it, but I’ll tell you of my decision next time.

Pax

Tom

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for taking the time to come and read. This blog comes to you from across the Atlantic. I’ve been here, in England, wandering around the spires of Oxford for two weeks now, finding myself. It’s been a privilege to be here so far. There is nothing more satisfying than having 8 years of expectation become something more than anticipation: actuality. Having said that, those 8 years had made a utopia out of this place (utopia being Latin for ‘no where’), for the oxford outside my head is markedly different than the one I had created inside it. It’s not better, it’s not worse, it’s real. And that seems to be thing; there is no assurance in anything other than truth. As Thoreau said, “rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth” for where else can we rest with certainty. I am enjoying Oxford, but not as I imagined I would: without struggle. There’s more work to do here than I had anticipated, more pensive longing for far away friends and loving family, more reading than I think possible and better minds than my own. These are the things though, which among others, make life real, and to want it another way is to not want life. And to not make the most of this is to not live. The challenege is to make the most out of what we have when we have it, not to live for what we would like whenever we want it.

This has taken a decidedly more pensive tone than I had intended and I do not want to give a false impression of what life here is like. I have had a world of fun here so far. This is a real adventure, and a fabulous one at that. I live in a place of resplendent learning and ennobling architecture. Things here have a deep voicefullness to them. Not a stone seems placed which doesn't merit my attention. Nor is there a question here that hasn’t been seriously asked and thoughtfully considered. It’s more than I could have asked for, because in many ways, it isn’t what I asked for. What I came here wanting was the satisfaction of a dream, what I get is what there is, which is reality itself. I would rather come here, and have the good and bad together as it really is and know, than to have forever in my head the dream of oxford, a utopia, which can yield nothing more than fancy and fiction. Real fun comes from real things, and i'm having real fun here. It's not all that i longed for, but it is everything that's on offer.

I will keep you posted, as there are many things I haven’t yet talked about, explained, explored or elaborated on: the pubs, colleges, travelling, reading, thinking, churches, evensong, choirs, weather, nature and so many more things that I can tell you about. I hope to attach in later blogs pictures for your viewing pleasure, for there are many wonderful things to see here.  

 Sincerely

Tom